Monthly Archives: April 2011

The Jungle Cruise

15 Comments Posted by on April 10, 2011

One of my very favorite rides at Disneyland is the Jungle Cruise. The Jungle Cruise is one of the original Disneyland attractions on opening day. In fact, the Jungle Cruise was one of the first built, since Walt wanted the foliage to grow.

The setup is pretty straightforward–you board a boat and float through varying rivers of the world looking at all the animatronic animals. The best part, though, is the running patter of jokes that your skipper tells along with his or her “tour guide” narration.

Meet some new MYWTMouseketeers! Melissa, Tom, Sarah, and Jenna joined Theo and me on our jungle adventure.

It's cruisin' time!

The Jungle Cruise is located in Adventureland next to the Indiana Jones Fastpass machines. In my youth, I remember the queue being very boring and just a lot of zig-zagging. Luckily somewhere along the line they redid it, and now it’s quite cute.  From your beginning line, you can actually see the loading dock, which gives you the illusion that you’re almost there.

Almost there! Not.

Instead you get re-routed to the back of the building. There are nice things to look at though.

If I were going on a safari, I'm pretty sure these are not the things I'd be taking with me.

Then you round a corner and again you see people right at the loading dock and you think woo hoo! I’m almost there! Well that was the case for us on this trip, but when it’s crowded you get another “psych!” and have to go up these stairs and back down again.

So close, yet so far

If you’re lucky, you may see a cast member emptying the trash can!

However, finally you do make it to your boat. Everyone sits in an orderly fashion so it’s not like a Southwest Airlines choose-your-own-seat thing. The thing that’s kind of a bummer is that sometimes it really does matter where you sit.

Here's an awkward angle

This trip we got stuck right next to the engine in the back.

Bummer

This was problematic for a couple of reasons. One was that our skipper’s voice was rather soft. I don’t know if the microphone was a bit anemic or if he wasn’t talking directly into it, but we missed about 75% of the jokes. And since the whole point of the Jungle Cruise is the jokes, that’s disappointing. The other bummer is that there are a couple of things that happen on the attraction that happen in the front of the boat, namely the elephants squirting water at you when you think you’re going to get wet, and the hippos with their wiggling ears. If you’re not near the front, then you can totally miss these events and the jokes that go with them, particularly if you can’t hear the skipper.

Oh well.

Anyway, you pass through different animal scenes, like this guy:

"These tigers are known to jump as far as 20 feet! Good thing we're only 15 feet away."

There’s a very cute elephant bathing pool. It’s like Dumbo without the circus and flying. So basically it’s nothing like Dumbo.

I would love to see an elephant actually do this

The thing that’s kind of funny is that I’ve grown so used to rides like the Jungle Cruise and the quality of animatronic animals that when we went on the safari ride at Animal Kingdom, I had to continually remind myself that we were seeing actual animals.

There’s a short bit of narrative in that there’s this camping party and gorillas have invaded their camp and the party is nowhere to be seen (except like 2 minutes later).

This is what happens when you try to smuggle bananas in your luggage

Now this is one of my favorite scenes in the ride, and our skipper totally blew the best joke for it.

Oh, first I should probably mention the joke script. There’s a long script of jokes for the attraction. Skippers are allowed to choose any of them for the ride, but they have to stay to script-approved jokes. The end result is that (in theory) each cruise is different. If you ride it enough you get to recognize some of the jokes. I personally have my favorites, and our skipper didn’t use most of them.

Anyway, in this scene which is obviously difficult to photograph, there’s a dead zebra lying in a cave and a bunch of lions sitting around it. I mean, there’s no chunks of zebra hanging out of their bloody muzzles or anything, but it’s pretty clear that the lions are having dinner. Check the picture for my favorite joke.

"Awww, look at that--the lions are protecting the sleeping zebra. How sweet!"

Or something like that.

Another prominent feature of the ride is Schweitzer Falls (favorite joke: “And here’s Schweitzer Falls, named after the famous Dr. Albert Falls”). You pass Schweitzer Falls twice, once in front and once in back.

"It's the back side of water!"

And then you pass some more stuff that I didn’t photograph because this is an effect-heavy ride and also Theo was seriously considering taking a swim.

I did see, for the first time, what looked like some deer in some bushes wiggling their ears. I asked on the internet if said deer were new, and got answers with everything from “I’ve never seen them before either!” to “They’re not deer, they’re antelopes.”

Also, they added this pirhana part and it makes a lot of noise and these fish go jumping out of the water and even though I’ve been on this ride a million times, it still startles me.

And then you reach the dock again.

"Here's the most dangerous part of the cruise--the return to civilization"

There are actually a number of closing jokes. I can’t recall what our skipper said since the engine was grinding loudly, but my three favorites are:

“If you enjoyed your cruise, my name is Shelby. If you didn’t, my name is Steve.”

“Watch your step, but don’t step on your watch–it’s a terrible way to kill time.”

“Please lower your head and watch your step as you exit. If you hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language.”

I have to say, if I could choose any ride in the entire park, I would choose to be a skipper on the Jungle Cruise. I really think I’d be excellent at it. Ah well, a girl can dream.

Adventureland , ,

Bootstrappers: A Singing Pirate’s Life for Me

3 Comments Posted by on April 7, 2011

You know what I love? Bacon.

You know what else I love? Stumbling across something I’ve never seen before at Disneyland.

Like these guys:

Ahoy there! Pirates ahead!

It’s a singing band of pirates outside of Cafe Orleans!

Of course, the disadvantage of seeing something new is not knowing what their names are. So I posted on Micechat.com, and “RegionsBeyond” filled me in:

Those wandering musicians of a piratical nature would go by the moniker of the ‘Bootstrappers’, and are the absolute fiercest scallywags in the whole of the cursed kingdom of Diz-nay

I can’t even tell you how much I love that.

Yarrrrr, let's sing a song

We joined the small group of onlookers to watch the show. The Pirate Lady did most of the singing and some wonderful dances as well.

Pirate lady does Riverdance!

The group sang some traditional pirate songs, or what I assume are traditional pirate songs although having never been a pirate, I can’t say for sure. In true Disney fashion, there was an audience participation part at the end. It was a “clap clap.”

Put your hands together for pirates!

I only caught the last two songs, neither of which was “A Pirate’s Life For Me” or “What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor” which pretty much rounds out my repertoire. But that’s probably okay, since I only know the chorus of those two songs anyway. I do like to pretend to sing along on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, but it’s usually “Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me- ba da da ba dada ba dada ba da drink UP, me hearties, yo ho! Ba da ba ba da ba ba da ba ba ba ba, drink up, me hearties yo HO! Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me!”

Which is kinda close. If by kind of close you mean not at all.

Well, I try.

Also, I love it when people do this:

If I make myself really small and run quickly, I won't get in your picture

I don’t know why people do that, but I do it too. Even though chances are, you’re totally going to get in the picture anyway, and then you’re going to look all weird and someone is going to put you on their blog.

I hate it when that happens.

Adventureland, Things I've Never Seen Before , ,

Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters

2 Comments Posted by on April 4, 2011

Once upon a time, over in Tomorrowland, there was this attraction called Circle-Vision. True to its name, it was this big round building and you stood in the middle and all around you in 360 degrees they showed a movie. The one I remember was all about America and you were speeding around on vehicles and whatnot.

It was horrible. I threw up.

Not inside the the attraction, but outside. I’m very sensitive to motion sickness. Even Star Tours makes me queasy.

So when Disneyland closed Circle-Vision and later turned the space into Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters, I was positively thrilled. The Mouse-in-law still has Circle-Vision in Epcot. I can’t do it. I just can’t.

Buzz Lightyear is cool because you sit in your car and ride through rooms (like a regular dark ride), but you get a blaster gun and you get to shoot stuff. What’s there not to love about that?

Well, it’s just not all that popular anymore. They had a FastPass for it, and then that became effectively useless because the stand-by wait was generally about 20 minutes anyway (on non-crowded days).

Stand-by wait is 15 minutes. Sign me up!

They have finally given up the charade and are using the FastPasses for the new Star Tours refurb. This is probably a good idea.

Your primary queue is outside around the building.

People

Also, you can see greenery on the left there. They actually grow real things, like strawberries. People really do pick them and eat them.

Why would you eat something that grew next to the queue of a Disneyland ride? WHY???

I’m not sure if those were strawberries or not, but still, I wouldn’t eat them.

Inside the actual building, the theming is immersive and fabulous.

There are lots of things to read, like this

Unfortunately, when the wait is short, you have to zoom by them and don’t really get the full experience. It’s like waiting in line for the Mona Lisa, and then you finally get to the front, take your one picture (if it doesn’t bounce off the glass box) and leave. I have to say, the Mona Lisa was definitely one of the most anticlimactic things I’ve ever seen. I suppose if I were able to study it or even get close to it, I would have felt differently, but there are plenty of other pieces of art in the Louvre to spend your time looking at.

Anyway, you are quickly introduced to your enemy, the Evil Emperor Zurg.

Nice chest plate

And in the next panel, you are told what you are supposed to do, which is to find these targets throughout the ride and hit them with your laser.

You're supposed to aim for the middle of the Z, but in case you didn't pick that up, there are handy little lines on every shape showing you where to shoot

Also, did I mention that you get points for shooting stuff? Well, you get points for shooting stuff. The shapes correspond to point values as well as difficulty in finding and shooting them. The circle is the easiest to hit with the lowest value, then the square, then the triangle, and then the diamond.

Should you spend your time just hitting as many circles as you can, or patiently wait for the triangles and diamonds and shoot those even though you’re losing time? I really don’t know. I totally suck at this game.

Then you hit the cool part of the line, which is the debriefing room. Buzz himself is there, larger than life (wasn’t he like really short in the movies? Shorter than Woody?), and his face is a hologram giving you more instructions.

Awesome to look at, difficult to photograph

The Etch-A-Sketch also draws pictures that are supposed to be helpful but really are just an Etch-A-Sketch drawing pictures by itself. Which when you think about it out of context, is really creepy. I mean, it’s like an Etch-A-Sketch ouija board or something, but unlike a ouija board, it would be really obvious if someone was moving it (OMG, nobody is touching the knobs!!!). I’d hate to be in a horror movie with this thing.

This is the dude you're supposed to shoot

Then finally you board your Space Cruise XP-40.

Moving sidewalks to get on a ride ALWAYS make me nervous

Your car has a joystick that allows you to turn from side to side, but not all the way around. If you’re competing with another person in your car, it can be a real disadvantage to be in charge of the joystick. If you’re sitting with a 2-year-old, that’s also a real disadvantage with the joystick.

Theo stayed like this pretty much the whole ride

Once you get into the dark part of the ride, that’s when you shoot things.

This is Zurg #1

As you can see (or as you could see if I were a decent photographer), there’s a couple of moderately-easy square targets and a difficult triange behind Zurg’s arm. It’s difficult because it can only be hit from a certain angle, and Zurg’s arm goes up and down, periodically blocking it.

Here’s a better picture of something you’re supposed to shoot.

Bring it, bright orange robot thing

He has a diamond on the side of his arm because you have to turn your car around to shoot it and also it moves.

You meet Zurg again, but he’s got something up his sleeve this time. No, it’s not shootable. They take a picture of you. At the end of the ride, Buzz himself steps in and zaps Zurg, because I guess you’ve been doing a crappy job. I mean, Zurg does appear twice, so if you didn’t neutralize him the first time, it’s probably time to call in the big guns.

I AM AN AWESOME PHOTOGRAPHER!

After all of that, you get a tally of your score. Mine was a bit problematic because 1) Theo kept turning the car every which way according to his whim SQUIRREL! 2) I was holding the camera in my right hand, which is my dominant hand, and 3) I was attempting to shoot with my left hand but it’s important to know that my left hand is so unadept it’s really just there for decoration.

Oh, also, the one thing I don’t like about this ride is that you can’t really see where you’re shooting. The pictures all show these laser beams coming out of the blasters, but in reality, you just have a little red dot that shows up when you pull the trigger. The other problem with that is that you see everyone else’s red dots too, so if you’re me and lousy at the game, it’s very difficult to know which dot is yours, making it difficult to aim.

Still, despite all of that, I managed to make Level 3 with my results

Level 3? Are you serious? I think even Theo can get to Level 3!

Once you step out of the car and onto the nervewracking moving sidewalk, you are funneled out through a separate exit. On the way, there are screens where you can go up, find your picture, and email it to yourself. For free! One of the few things in the park that are actually free.

Everyone seems to forget their own email address when they step up to the screen

You also have to scroll through a big bunch of pictures to find yourself. Some people are more successful at this than others.

Help! I've forgotten what I look like!

I generally skip this step because it takes a long time, but I was going to try to do it for the blog. Alas, it was not to be. Theo was in a rotten mood and actually kept throwing himself on the floor crying, so I had to carry him throughout the entire queue. This kid weighs approximately 7,000 pounds, and by 7,000 pounds I mean 33 pounds, so he’s very heavy.

While waiting for our turn at the screen, Theo once again launched into his schtick. Let’s just say that he would make the ideal non-violent protester, as his skills at going completely limp are truly unparalleled.

The only reason I didn't take a picture of his face was because he will probably see this when he's older and will be horribly embarrassed. You're welcome.

Disneyland likes to make you exit through a gift shop as often as possible, so Buzz is no exception. The good news is that there’s another passage out of there.

Store Command--get it? Star Command/Store Command? Ha ha ha?

Now I like Buzz. I really do. But he is nothing compared to Toy Story Mania over in D-CAP. I may have to cover that one for you because of its sheer awesomeness.

Tomorrowland , ,

Carnation Plaza Gardens–Starring the Highlighters

5 Comments Posted by on April 3, 2011

I have a special place in my heart for the Carnation Plaza Gardens. It’s just a little stage with seating set back near the entrance to Frontierland. For amateur performing groups, this is the stage you usually perform on (unless you’re a marching band). Back in my misspent youth, I belongs to a performing group and we sang on this stage as well, so it does hold a great deal of nostalgia for me.

Put your cares away and step into the Carnation Plaza Gardens

You might be wondering why Carnation would sponsor just a little stage. It’s because back in the day, you used to be able to get burgers and stuff there. Not anymore. Now it’s just a peaceful, fun little place tucked away.

There’s a big gazebo that holds the stage, which is very cute.

Shiny!

The day I was trying to get on Oprah, I noticed a youth choir singing on the stage. I was immediately drawn in, partly because I was trying to take an inconspicuous picture of Oprah’s film crew, partly because I needed to refill my water bottle, partly because Theo was in a mood and this was making him happy, but mostly because the group there was really good.

Meet the Highlighters from South Kitsap High School in Port Orchard, Washington!

Because every choral group needs at least one podium

 

No idea where Port Orchard is? Me either, so I looked it up for you:

Welcome to Port Orchard!

Looks like a pretty cool place to live.

I was immediately drawn in by the Highlighters’ stylish jazz numbers. These guys sounded great!

I should probably take a moment to clarify that the group to which I belonged when I was young was not really that good. The Highlighters were significantly better than my old performing group.

They wore really classy outfits–black suits. Unfortunately it was 91.5 degrees that day, so they must have been positively sweltering. It reminded me of our family friend’s wedding in Arizona when it was a billion degrees. All of the groomsmen had ice packs in their pockets. Disneyland is not usually that hot at the end of March, but there ya go.

You're probably really overheated. I'm sorry!

After the Highlighters finished, I took the opportunity to accost two women who looked like they were a part of the group. Lucky for me, they were.

I spoke with Beth Allen, wife of Mike Allen, who is the conductor of the Hightlighters. Beth’s son Jake was also a featured performer. Beth said that there are 20 kids in the Highlighters and this is Mike’s 23rd year as director. Woo hoo!

I have to say, one thing I really love about Disneyland is their willingness to let youth groups like marching bands (that’s me!) and choral groups (me again!) in to perform for guests. It’s a lot of fun for the kids, a lot of fun for the guests, and just in general a lot of fun.

Beth told me that the Highlighters come down about every other year, and the kids fundraise their butts off to make it. Boy, do I remember those fundraising days. That was the worst part of high school. Okay, not the worst part, but it was pretty bad. Apparently, among other things, the Highlighters sang at a madrigal feast–which let me interrupt just a second here and say that I LOVE madrigal feasts. They also sold cookie dough and pizzas and all kind of other stuff.

However, as Beth said, “We stopped doing car washes.” To which I add a hearty “hear hear!” Car wash fundraisers seriously SUCK. If you ever find yourself in a position of having to participate in a car wash fundraiser, then do your best to get out of it. Fall out of a tree and put yourself in the hospital or something. I can assure you that whatever injury you sustain, it won’t be as bad as a  car wash fundraiser.

But I digress.

Here's another shot of the Highlighters in action

They did a fabulous job on the whole, but I have to say that my favorite part was at the end when they launched into the Glee version of “Don’t Stop Believin’.” I couldn’t help but sing along.

I also met Katie, who was a chaperone for the trip and a former Highlighter herself. Katie was so inspired by her experiences that she grew up to become an elementary school music teacher. Katie is on the left in this picture, with Beth on the right.

We need more music education in schools! Seriously, people!!! MUSIC EDUCATION IS SO, SO, SO IMPORTANT!!

Aren’t they fun?

I’d like to say that I was disappointed that I didn’t get to be on Oprah, but really, because of it, I did stumble across the Highlighters and was really glad for that.

And if any of the Highlighters are reading, leave me a comment! You did really well!

 

Main Street , , , , , ,

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