December 3, 2011
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#9. Jingle Bells by the Singing Dogs
Okay, so this gimmick song was kind of cute and maybe kind of funny the first time you heard it, but hundreds of play hours later, it’s neither cute nor funny. I did a little research to see how the singing dogs came about and was shocked to find out that it was recorded in 1955. NINETEEN FIFTY-FIVE, PEOPLE!!! Apparently it achieved a renaissance when it was re-released in 1971, and, for some godawful reason, has been around ever since.
I picked that particular video because of the fine looking hounds in the picture, which is its single redeeming quality. We’re real hound lovers here.
Anyway, there’s a very interesting article about the Singing Dogs in The Atlantic, and the fact that these stupid barking dogs get their own article in The Atlantic is a bit disturbing to me. Apparently the Singing Dogs represented some kind of massive breakthrough in recording technology. Which is fine, I guess, except if you’re going to come up with a massive breakthrough, why on earth would you make that breakthrough via a Christmas song sung by dogs? Because if that were me, I’d like to have a little something more–sophisticated and less annoying as my legacy.
And according to the Atlantic article, two different polls came up with the Singing Dogs as #1 most hated Christmas song in 2007. So why do people keep playing it? WHY??? It’s like when you’re at the family Christmas dinner and that creepy uncle, who thinks he has a good sense of humor but really doesn’t, has too much to drink and decides he’s going to crack everyone up by playing the funniest Christmas song ever recorded (“you HAVE to hear this one!!”), the singing dogs, completely forgetting that 1) he gets drunk and does this every year, and 2) it’s not a funny song.
I’m pretty sure there’s some sort of cat version out there too, but if you know the names or locations of such songs, please don’t link them. I’ve only got 8 more slots to fill on my 10 Worst, and I don’t want animals to dominate the competition. Thanks.