My Year With The Mouse

Don’t forget to enter the Gibson Girl caption contest!

Okay, when I hear or see the word Disneyana, I immediately think of a large red barn on the side of some major highway but in a totally deserted stretch of said highway. For example, I know I’ve seen some in the Midwest, and up north there’s one right outside of Gilroy (Garlic Capital of the World! Home of the Garlic Festival! Eat some garlic ice cream! I wish I were kidding!). And to be honest, these barns kind of make me shudder a little. I mean, they’re basically antique shops (or those co-op antique shops where you rent your little section and sell on consignment or whatever, I don’t know) and some people have Disneyana (Disney memorabilia) to sell.

I know a lot of people like antique stores and collect pretty much anything, but I am not one of those. Plus I think a lot of the stuff is total crap, like Camp Snoopy glasses you got at Burger King when Camp Snoopy opened up at Knott’s. I mean really? People pay top dollar for giveaway glasses from Burger King?

Anyway, so when I saw that one of the stores on Main Street was called Disneyana, I was a little confused.

Oh god, please don't let there be headless Kewpie dolls wearing miniature Mickey shirts or something

I did not expect to find some Mickey statue that had broken in 3 places and was glued together with a couple of chips missing,or pretty much anything I can find at my grandmother’s very cluttered house.

Fortunately, I did not!

Turns out that Disneyana at Disneyland is basically art and figurines. You’ve got your typical, straightforward Disney porcelain stuff, including little kids playing with Disney toys.

That's the best you can do?

A smattering of jewelry, with various themes, like the Nightmare Before Christmas.

This isn't the jewelry store--that's across the street. Literally. Like 15 feet away.

My favorite are pieces by Kevin Kidney and Jody Daily, who happen to be my neighbors.

Seriously, they live in our extended neighborhood!

Items range from the classy and kind of cool

I'd buy this if the price was right

To the unforgivable travesties known as Mickey and Friends in Star Wars.

Donald Duck as Darth Maul??? W. T. F. ???

I mean look, I’m a big Star Wars fan and a big Disney fan, but some things just shouldn’t be mixed.

You can also buy prints of various scenes, ride posters, and general Disney art.

The fancy ones

Again, these range from the tasteful

Is it easy to find a frame for these things?

To the tacky and atrocious

Just say no

Again with the Mickey and Star Wars? Seriously, this is not a good idea. Other things that should never be combined:

• Pickles and ice cream
• Charlie Sheen and more drugs
• Winnie the Pooh and pole dancing
• Chocolate and rat poison
• Ice skating and flamethrowers

(that was by no means a comprehensive list)

To clear your mind, here’s some more nice art including Walt.

I don't know much about art presentation, but that glare cannot be good for that picture.

They have these cool kind of light box things that are really hard to photograph

I should say really hard to photograph if you're me

There’s the romantic princesses too.

I'd be willing to bet real money that someone used that Belle and Beast figurine as a wedding cake topper

And one thing that I really love, which is the print on demand station. There’s ride posters and all kinds of other art. You just click on the ones you want and a couple hours later, it’s yours! We have a ride poster (full-size) for the Monorail, and a small version of the Dumbo one in Theo’s room.

It's fun to just look through these, but then people get annoyed with you if you've been hogging it for an hour and don't even buy something

There’s a whole Disneyland-themed Precious Moments section.

Snow White on a rocking horse? I totally remember that part of the movie.

I’ll be honest here–I find Precious Moments to be utterly nauseating. I’m having a hard time trying to decide which offends my sensibilities more, the Precious Moments stuff or Mickey and Star Wars. It’s really a toss-up. I suppose there’s room on the bottom for everyone.

And then you get to the ultimate terror: the Marie Osmond dolls.

Mommy, I don't like these

I really do find porcelain dolls to be disturbing on a guttural level. The eyes just creep me out and I’m convinced they are going to come to life, rise up, and eat me. Two, who wants a doll with a head that shatters? It’s even worse when people have a whole collection of them. It’s like a Lilliputian graveyard just waiting for the Gulliver equivalent of the rapture so they can achieve world domination with their soulless, unblinking eyes.

Plus looking at this picture, wtf is the doll in red supposed to be? She looks like Violet Beauregard meets Scarlett O’Hara meets Chuckie. I pity the cast member who has to open that glass case. I’m pretty sure he or she is going to lose an arm in the process.

Moving on, the Disneyana store also has a collection of Vinylmation

There's not nearly as many here as there are in Downtown Disney

Vinylmation are these little vinyl Mickey Mouses who are painted to represent various…I don’t know, various things. There are sometimes themed collections too. It seems that the primary purpose of Vinylmation is to trade them with other people for their Vinylmation. Oh, also, many of the packages are grab-bag-style, which is to say that you don’t know what design is inside. But yeah, Vinylmation trading is definitely on its way up. I think Disney wanted to exploit the pin trading model and start yet another thing to buy and trade. Talk about a money maker.

Anyway, there you have it. Figurines, scary dolls, good art and bad art–that’s Disneyana.